Play Party Etiquette

In BDSM 101 by Damien Storm

  • No means no.
  • Don’t touch other people uninvited, even if it looks like other people are doing it.
  • When in doubt, ask a board member or Dungeon Monitor.
  • Do not interfere, verbally or physically, with other people’s scenes or aftercare, even if they look like free-for-alls. Do not ask if you can join in. Wait until they are finished. If the top asks you to move out of the way during a scene, move.
  • Respect the privacy of others. Do not mention anyone at the party to those not at the party without that person’s express permission to name him. These parties are private; what happens there stays there.
  • Keep your criticisms of other people’s play, attire or appearances to yourself.
  • If you see something you think is unsafe, inform a DM or board member, instead of taking action yourself.
  • Do not come on to people aggressively or cluelessly.
  • Don’t touch other people’s toys without the owner’s permission.
  • Watching and curiosity are not the same things as gawking or judging.
  • Regardless of titles, (e.g. “slave, Master, Mistress, etc.”), no one who is not your own personal partner owes any deference to you beyond common, everyday courtesy.
  • Volunteer offers to help are always welcome, and a good way to meet people and build a reputation.