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Colourful Kinksters of Vancouver Discussion Group

April 3 @ 8:00 am - 5:00 pm

1 – Purpose of Discussion Group

The purpose of creating a Colourful Kinksters of Vancouver Discussion Group for racially marginalized people is for those with lived experience of systemic oppression to discuss issues that uniquely or disproportionately affect racially marginalized people, to educate about these issues, and to strategize on how to reduce harm due to these issues.

If you’re unsure about attending, ask yourself if you have lived experience of systemic racial or cultural oppression. If you’re still uncertain, ask yourself “why am I choosing to occupy or pursue this space?” Why do you want to come if you aren’t there to fill the purpose of the event? There is a code of conduct for all attendees, and only some attendees are invited to participate fully.

2 – Focusing the Discussion on Lived Experience

In terms of evolutionary biology, all of us are mixed race and the word race implies some genetic isolation (suggesting no interbreeding happens) which is itself somewhat racist. (Here’s a paper concluding “the vast majority of [human] diversity reflects individual uniqueness and not race,” concluding there is only one race of humans).

What does that mean in the context of intersectional (third-wave) feminism where some of us clearly benefit from “racial” privilege and others do not?

The answer is complicated, and it’s clear it isn’t enough to talk solely about “people of colour” as if they were one homogenous group. There are many forms of oppression or othering that affect people of colour (and sometimes others).


visible and immediate othering occurs the further one is away from being white or passing as white.

Linguistic Discrimination

audible and immediate othering occurs the further one is from sounding like a native-language, local speaker with matching class speech markers.

Cultural Othering

relying on “the expectation of difference” from a dominant group which assumes itself to be “normal,” othering people based on their culture of origin occurs when one exhibits behaviours or practices holidays, traditions, rituals, or religions which are not original/native to that local dominant cultural group.
One extreme subgroup is Xenophobia which is tied into Supremacy.

Thus while people who suffer from Shadism might typically be the only candidates for a PoC group, they often experience Cultural Othering or Linguistic Discrimination as well, things experienced by some white and/or white-passing foreigners and/or mixed-race people. Thus those groups are also stakeholders in tackling those microaggressions.

3 – A Mixed Bag

Intersectionally, these vectors of oppression cannot be considered alone but must be considered all together. Thus a white-passing person may experience privilege in the absence of instantaneous/by-sight police, employment, and other types of discrimination; however they may experience a lot of microaggressions from cultural othering and then silencing language when talking about it (“but you’re basically white”). The “too white to be other” mixed with constant othering (foreign sounding names, internalized racism, racism/cultural stereotypes happen around you) can be exhausting.

Thus, there is absolutely privilege associated with being white-passing. However white-passing privilege is different from the complete white privilege package.

If you’re struggling with this, it’s worth doing some research and hearing mixed race people hash this out online. There are funny videos on microaggressions mixed race individuals experience and other videos about being ethnically ambiguous. There are also individual stories like Sophia, an articulate teenager who describes herself as a white-passing black person who experiences while privilege.

4 – Inclusion Criteria

If you meet any one of the below criteria, you are invited to participate in full at CKV events (subject to your consenting to the Code of Conduct). You…

…are visible minorities (PoCs); and/or
…have parents who are visible minorities (also sometimes called mixed race individuals); and/or
…have the lived experience of systemic oppression based on race, ethnicity, culture, mother tongue, place of origin, or heritage (have experienced sociologically defined racism).

Supporting Participants (Invite Only Please!)

Allies/Supporting Participants are anyone who do not meet the criteria above and who were directly invited by a Full Participant. Allies are also expected to adhere to the Code of Conduct.

Allies are there solely to show solidarity and support for their CKV inviter. Any dissenting voices must come from CKV full participants. Allies may not interrupt or contradict full participants.

Allies are encouraged to ask clarifying questions, but please save rabbit hole issues for afterwards so as not to co opt the conversation and inadvertently make it about yourself.

Safe spaces to discuss these issues are hard to find and as such lived experience is rarely shared between a lots of different colourful kinksters. Allies can alway ask their big questions to their inviters or approach an organizer after the discussion for resources.

We love speaking with allies, especially because this helps us understand the knowledge gaps allowing us to produce better educational resources. Though the policy may feel strict and probably not very welcoming, we do greatly appreciate your time, support, kindness, and emotional labour. Thanks for helping make the world feel like a lighter, kinder place!

Changing Roles

If a Full Participant does not experience a type of oppression or othering, it is requested they temporarily take the role of a Supporting Participant for the duration of those discussions. This is not enforced or policed in any way, but self policed. Let’s all try to be kind to each other instead of critical! Let’s call in (private/growth) instead of call out (public/shame).

5 – Vetting and Resources

The first event will have no vetting restriction. All subsequent events will likely require vetting.

Everyone will be asked to sign a CKV – Code of Conduct (draft available here) prior to their participation (including allies/supporting participants).

Here’s a writing on how Microaggressions Stop Colourful Kinksters from Wanting to Participate in the Scene that primarily lists some examples rather than lectures on the topic. Hopefully it’s obvious how these experiences on repeat would be exhausting and deter people from participating.

6 – Event Details

This discussion group will be happening this April 3rd, 2018 at 6:30 PM.

For safety and peace of mind, the location is kept secret and disclosed by the group leader by PM to the RSVPed people. Expect it to be near-ish to the Commercial Drive Skytrain Station.

How It Works: The Vetting Process

For future events, you must both be Recommended and Approved to be considered Vetted.
– 1 – Be Recommended by a single other qualifying colourful kinkster (PoC, child of PoC or lived experience of oppression PoCs face), even an unvetted one. If you come as a pair (or more), you can recommend each other.
– 2 – Meet with a group leader so they can approve you.
If you are new to the city or scene or find the Recommend stage to be a barrier, you can message the volunteer event coordinator directly to request an invite on special circumstances.

(This Event created by a mixed race person in conjunction with several amazing people who identify both as women and as people of colour.)


April 3
8:00 am - 5:00 pm
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